Revealed: Premier League sponsorship deals 2018/19
As all eyes turn once again to the Premier League after the international break, we’ve tirelessly sourced new sponsors for all 20 top flight clubs heading into next season. See if you agree!
- Manchester City/Netflix – Brash new kid on the block, they’ve made old DVD’s redundant. Add new flavours of the month every year to ensure they remain on top.
- Manchester United/National Express Coaches – Throwing a lot of money at a fleet of new products, but struggling to return to former glories. Often seen parked in rectangular areas.
- Tottenham/Pepsi Co – Not as good as their big red rivals, but still an established force in the market. Have a penchant for PR blunders….and bottling.
- Chelsea/Apple: The original new kid on the block – products have a habit of breaking every two to three years, and being put back together for extortionate prices.
- Liverpool/Amstrad – Clinging onto memories of greatness – figurehead is often seen screaming loudly on tv.
- Arsenal/Internet Explorer – Once a revolutionary commodity – now viewed as a joke.
- Burnley/Primark: Punching above their weight – what you see is what you get. Cheap.
- Brighton/Harry Ramsdens – Associated with the seaside and not much else. Came back from the brink of disaster quite recently and will hope to emulate past glories.
- Watford/Carabao – Or whatever company decides to sponsor the League Cup next.
- Huddersfield/Mubi – Nobody had heard of them a year ago. To be honest, we’re still not sure who they are, and how they got a seat at the top table.
- Newcastle/Huawei – Only they think they’re a big deal, but facts suggests otherwise. Huawei lad!
- Leicester/Rolab Hoverboards – Massively popular for one glorious, improbable season, but now in the back of everyone’s minds following a series of accidents.
- Southampton/Toys R Us – Irrelevant until Christmas comes, and then cherry picked by the bigger kids who leave them to develop new toys till the next cycle.
- Stoke/Uber – Seedy (but possibly undeserved) reputation – in an eternal war with classier companies.
- Everton/Bing – Perpetually overshadowed by the ‘’giant’’ down the road. Currently trying to make some noise but struggling to be seen as a serious contender.
- West Brom/Byrne Bros Concrete – Possibly the most unglamorous corporation in the country. Solid in all areas, yet extremely boring.
- Bournemouth/Poundland – Plucky up starters who do things in a way most people agree with. Will never compete with the big boys, but happy to go along for the ride.
- West Ham/Crocs – Ugly exterior, hated by most, but business is booming for some inexplicable reason, off the field at least. Clinging onto the good old days (fifty years ago).
- Swansea/Irn Bru– The big dog in their part of the world, but that’s not saying much.
- Crystal Palace/Ryanair: Planned expansion into America has lead to….teething problems.
* List made in association with Iman Alaouie
