We All Speak Football: The Distinctive Language Of The Beautiful Game
Whether it’s a five-a-side kickabout or a Premier League game, there are certain words and phrases that we only hear used in and around a football pitch – mainly because they would sound completely out of place elsewhere.
Imagine being greeted with a cheery ‘first five, nothing silly’ by your boss as you walk into work; or a mistake being met with an encouraging cry of ‘still nil-nil!’ from your colleagues.
There are other examples of perfectly serviceable words whose true meaning only seems to shine through when used in a football context. What better use is there of the word ‘profligate’ than to describe an attacking unit struggling to convert their chances? Where would you rather use ‘lacklustre’ other than characterising a team’s below-par display?
Recently, the Premier League published A Guide To Football Terminology, a YouTube video testing its players’ knowledge of some popular football phrases.
The most common football phrases
About half of the phrases the players were quizzed on provided no challenge at all. Thanks to social media, phrases like ‘aura’ and ‘G.O.A.T.’ have become quite common, the latter even making it into the Oxford English Dictionary in 1992.
Other phrases seemed to have made their way into football parlance via the manager’s clipboard – almost every player featured in the video knew immediately what a ‘false 9’ was, what a ‘nutmeg’ was, and what a ‘dink’ meant. Even the phrase ‘tiki-taka,’ the symphony of short passes and fluid movement developed by Johan Cryuff and arguably perfected by Pep Guardiola at Barcelona, was something every player knew immediately.
Surprisingly common football phrases
Even some footballing phrases that can be classified as particularly English did not stump the players. Everyone knew that a particularly vociferous home crowd was sometimes referred to as the ‘12th man,’ and that ‘park the bus,’ a phrase famously coined by (and later associated with) Jose Mourinho meant a robust defensive approach.
Amadou Onana even referenced the Italian equivalent of catenaccio (meaning door-bolt) while Kieran Tripper, drawing on his personal playing experience, referenced the style of Atletico’s Diego Simeone.
Some of the more surprising phrases that most of the players knew were ‘Route One,’ despite increasingly fewer teams opting to get it launched, and ‘top bins,’ with Newcastle United’s Brazilian midfielder Bruno Guimarães even providing its Portuguese version.
The most surprising phrase that seemed to be common knowledge among the Premier League stars was Andy Gray’s iconic ‘can he do it on a rainy Tuesday night in Stoke.’
Commenting on a match between Manchester City and Everton in the 2010-11 season, Gray had used this line to question whether Lionel Messi would be able to replicate his sparkling form for Barcelona when faced with Stoke’s blustery conditions and tough-tackling style of Tony Pulis’ Potters.
At the time, the prolific former striker and current broadcaster would probably not have realised the cultural impact his musings would go on to have, as players like Erling Haaland, Micky van de Ven, and Jurrien Timber promptly provided the correct definition of the phrase almost 15 years later.
‘English’ footballing phrases
Some phrases, it seemed, had not made their way out of the UK. The phrase ‘hoof it,’ for example, was easy for the likes of Tyrone Mings, Mason Mount, Harry Winks, John Stones, and Evan Ferguson to explain, but left Abdoulaye Doucoure, Taiwo Awoniyi, Nicolas Jackson, and David Raya nonplussed.
English players also had the linguistic advantage when it came to phrases like ‘square it,’ ‘poacher,’ ‘howler,’ ‘put it in the mixer,’ and ‘dead ball specialist.’ Terms such as ‘he had him in his pocket,’ and ‘unbelievable tekkers’ also produced confused looks from the foreign players, who instinctively equated ‘tekkers’ with tackles instead of technique.
A couple of phrases associated with the legendary Sir Alex Ferguson also featured. While all English speakers knew what ‘squeaky bum time’ meant, the term ‘hairdryer treatment’ puzzled even native English speakers like Lloyd Kelly and Chris Richards.
A real highlight of the video was Ashley Young’s absolute disdain for the phrase ‘Hollywood pass,’ dismissing it outright as a needlessly complicated addition to the game.
Uncommon football phrases
Some of the phrases that the players were quizzed on sailed straight over their heads – unlike a ‘daisycutter,’ which only John McGinn and Kyle Walker-Peters could accurately describe as a pass that skims along the grass.
Similarly, not even English-speaking players could point out where the ‘postage stamp’ was and declared that they had no idea that it was another way to refer to the top corner; and only Chelsea’s Reece James knew that ‘onion bag’ meant goal net. Most players theorised that it meant a player that was ‘stinking up the place’.
Brighton’s Bart Verbruggen even offered up the charming Dutch phrase ‘my wallet is made of onion leather’ to support his possible explanation that an onion bag could be ‘something that made you cry.’
The shared language of football
From Sunday League to the Premier League, these phrases can be heard bellowed on the pitch, chanted in the stands, discussed in the pub, preached on the telly, published in the papers, and posted on social media week after week. Not only do they offer a sense of familiarity to millions of football fans, but they also serve as a point of connection, bringing them together like little else can. They have truly become an integral part of the game and adorn the unique language that makes football, particularly English football, so special.
